


if only you'd let me in (we'd have so much more time)

by que_sera_sera



Series: femslash february 2021 [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Mythology, BAMF Niki | Nihachu, Cara | CaptainPuffy-centric, Deity Cara | CaptainPuffy, Deity Niki | Nihachu, F/F, Minor Violence, Not Beta Read, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, References to Ancient Roman Religion & Lore, References to Hindu Religion & Lore, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Swordfighting, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29438157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/que_sera_sera/pseuds/que_sera_sera
Summary: The soft breath of the dawn whispers at Puffy's skin, causing her to shiver against it. She looks over the valley, and takes everything in.
Relationships: Background Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Cara | CaptainPuffy/Niki | Nihachu, Noah Brown & Cara | CaptainPuffy, Past Clay | Dream/Wilbur Soot
Series: femslash february 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138697
Comments: 14
Kudos: 53
Collections: mcyt writers valentine's day blind date event!





	if only you'd let me in (we'd have so much more time)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moobloom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moobloom/gifts).



> hello! please read the tags before reading the fic. i know there's a lot of them, but there's some important warnings in there.
> 
> forgot to put my little disclaimers in originally so here they are now: the way i have written these people are as the personas they display on the internet. although this obviously cannot happen in real life, i still want to respect boundaries and if any of the cc's involved in romantic aspects later say they are uncomfortable with this, i will delete this. 
> 
> this fic was written for the mcytvalentinesday challenge, organized by the lovely [hari](https://netheritedream.tumblr.com)! i hope you all enjoy.

Puffy had always preferred the voliet chants over the consonant ones. The unity and simplicity carried the beauty of the voliet chants across the land, calmly ringing the sound of prayer across the valley. It brought those to her who were lost and she guided them towards their true purpose. The consonant chants were not ugly per se, she just thought that they were less beautiful. She is still compelled to be called by them, of course, like she is called by the thin wispy lines of wind.

The voliet chants ring across the city along with the heavy chime of bells and the sound of hustle and bustle. Puffy looks at it all from her lonely place above. 

"Good morning," a voice as light as the windchimes greets. 

Puffy turns around to the source of the voice. "Good morning, Niki."

Niki, living up to her name as the deity of balance, is carrying a breakfast pastry and a glass of apple cider in her hands while still managing to walk lightly on her toes. "How are you?"

"I am alright," Puffy replies, "And you?"

Puffy steps toward Niki, the fabric around her legs loosely flowing at the knee. Niki sips on the apple cider as if she is pondering something exceptionally deep.

"I am… content."

 _Content_ , Puffy notes, _Not "happy."_

"That is good to hear," she says instead of what she is truly thinking, "The Spring Harvest is in a couple of months, no? You must be busy."

"It will pick up soon," Niki clarifies, "For right now I am enjoying my life."

"That is good to hear," Puffy responds, "I am glad for you."

"You are too kind," Niki says abashedly with a small blush sprouting across her face before she manages to get it into control. 

"I understand that you are having breakfast right now, but would you like to get lunch later?" Puffy asks, "There is this new place in Aclemina that I heard was favored by the other gods."

"Truly, you do not have to be formal around me. Of course I'll go," Niki answers. 

"I'll see you soon, then?"

Niki nods. She turns away, almost cruelly, and the soft chiming of her anklets ring in Puffy's ears like a curse until they're too far away to be heard. 

"Okay," Puffy whispers to herself under her breath.

* * *

The synchronous chants of prayer in the morning turn into mingles of chatter in the afternoon. The unity turns into separation, Puffy supposes. She captures little bits of conversation like pieces of fluff in the wind that eventually float away. As she waits, she leans back just a little in her wicker material chair and looks at the menu. 

In disguise, they look different than they do in the above-world. Puffy’s hair is a duller reddish-brown color compared to the idols which depict her with almost rainbow-like hair and she opts to exchange her dark blue colored eyes for a neutral gray-green. Niki’s hair is still dyed, but it is dyed blonde instead of the pink that she usually has while she is in the above-world. Her eyebrows are slightly thinner (as is the fashion in Aclemina) compared to their normal state but her eye color stays a constant brown with a twinkle that mortals cannot usually identify. 

Not that Puffy needs to keep note of this, of course, because she has memorized Niki’s worldly appearance just as well as her above-worldly appearance and the two meet often enough that they could be considered friends in both the above-world and the mortal world. Puffy sits on a table outside, where bugs come to her and then flit away as if they can detect something about her. She doesn’t like that. It worries her that people won’t just see her as normal, which is all that she wants here. 

“I apologize that I’m late,” Niki suddenly says, settling into the seat across the little table from Puffy, “I had some _business_.”

At the final word, Niki scowls stormily. 

"What was it?" Puffy asks out of curiosity. Nothing made Niki this upset usually, even though there were several upsetting prayers that she received. This must have been out of the ordinary for Niki to have lost her cool. 

Niki laughs scornfully. "You might as well ask who it was. It was Dream and he has a particularly dangerous sect who have been trying to damage and kill people who primarily pray to other gods. I asked him to consider if he could send a message to those followers and he scoffed in my face."

"That's awful," Puffy replies, her eyebrows furrowing into a worried position, "I'm so sorry."

"I'll have to talk to his friends. Sapnap will be at least a little receptive, I think. They killed a group at his lover's main temple," Niki says. 

Sapnap is not prone to bursts of fury, despite the supposed nature of the deity of fire. Though, Puffy notes to herself, it could be possible with his love for the time lord, Karl. Puffy knows that love can change the nature of a person, after all. She doesn't tell this to Niki. Niki has to already know. 

"I would listen, if I were him," Puffy responds. 

"I've been out with Karl before. It's awful that it happened to him, too, Karl and Dream were amicable before," Niki states, "I don't know what changed."

 _It was Dream_ , Puffy thinks sadly, _He changed_. 

"What would you like to get?" Puffy asks instead, "I heard that the fried garam dough here is especially good."

Niki smiles. "You know me far too well."

* * *

After Puffy's lunch with Niki, she is worried. Dream had always been chaotic, living up to his role. But this was not just chaotic, this was slaughter. And if even Niki, the deity of balance and Dream's counter-weight, could not handle this, who could?

Dream is out of control, she reminds herself. She remembers the days he was kind, the days he was with Wilbur. Wilbur, the lord of music, was a kind being who brought out some of the best in Dream. Maybe it was not good for either of them in the end. But what they had was real, at least for a little while. Wilbur and Dream had found themselves on two sides of a bitter conflict that had ended with Dream taking some of Wilbur's memories. 

It had hurt Niki, Puffy recalls, to see that Wilbur didn't remember the memories they had together. But Niki has moved on and Dream? Puffy isn't sure whether Dream ever will. She is worried because if this is the way that Dream decides to take revenge, then there is no saving him at all. 

She sighs and checks in on the prayers and offerings she has received. She usually eats the food that rots quickly and hands the other food to those who do not have enough. It is a part of the guiding, to guide even those who do not pray to her. Those who need more than others due to the cruel treatment that they have suffered.

She desperately wishes she could grant almost every prayer, every wish, but it is impossible. Puffy has a considerably faster pace to get through her work due to the fact that she is a goddess and her sense of time varies a bit from the mortal sense of time, but she cannot ask even Karl to add more hours to the day or to completely stop the day. It would be inconsiderate and unkind to everyone. She just guides as many people as best as she can, and that is all that she can do. 

Puffy looks over a prayer that asked her to guide them to be a fighter.

_My dad says girls can't be fighters, but I want to be one anyways. Please help me, dear goddess, in order to achieve my dreams. Help me prove him wrong._

She smiles at the prayer and decides to guide the girl towards a famous swordsperson in her area. Puffy remembers the days that she had to prove herself just because she was new and because she was a girl. The days are long gone, of course, but she can see a little bit of herself in this girl. Hopefully, this girl will grow up to be a great fighter in this land.

* * *

“Hello?” Puffy asks when she senses a slight disturbance in her situation after answering prayers all day. 

“It’s Foolish.”

Puffy looks over to her right to see her son coming in with a basket in his hands and a shy look on his face. She smiles and beckons at him to come inside her office.

“You know you don’t have to be ashamed of visiting your old _papa_ ,” she teases.

“I’m just scared that I’m bothering you,” he replies, smiling widely despite himself. 

“You’re never bothering me,” she responds, “What kind of tea do you want?”

“I don’t need tea at all, I’m fine,” he says.

“I insist. You came all this way and you had to search for me, anyway," she replies, "I think I have your favorites on hand."

"Do you still have the berry tea? I think it would go well with what I brought."

Puffy checks her tea storage. "I do. I'll start boiling the water."

While the water whistles like the wind, Puffy grins and beckons for Foolish to come over. 

"How are you doing? It's been a while since you visited," Puffy says. 

"I'm doing alright, I guess," he answers. 

Puffy hums and steeps the tea mixture in the hot water. She gets some of her nice cups out as well as some plates for whatever Foolish brought with him. 

Foolish shakes his head. "That's a lie. Recently, some worshippers of Dream came into a temple of mine and they - they got some of my people. I haven't been feeling too well recently. Sorry for being so negative."

"I'm sorry."

"What for? You couldn't have done anything." 

He goes into his basket and takes out lemon cookies with raspberry jam in the middle. "I made these the other day. I'm thinking about taking the role of the deity of baking. It seems happy."

"It would be very happy," Puffy remarks, "Thank you."

"Of course," he responds, "I missed you, _papa_. So much."

She smiles slightly. "My little totem is so grown up."

"I've been grown up for a while now," Foolish jokes. 

"I know. It's just hard to believe so much time has passed by. Feels like none has ever passed at all and yet like eons have gone by too," she replies. 

"Yeah," Foolish says, "I know what you mean."

"The tea should be steeped now," Puffy states, "I'll pour it out for us."

* * *

The first visit to convince someone to join their side against Dream is to Sapnap. Sapnap lives close by to Karl, so it’s rather easy to locate his residence as it’s right next to the Palace of Time, where most of the godly meetings usually are. 

Puffy doesn’t know whether this is the right move, to go to Sapnap first. After all, Sapnap and Dream had been friends for a while and their friendship hadn’t exactly ended yet. This visit could potentially risk it all. 

She knocks on the door of the chalet bungalow and waits for a response. Puffy notes that Sapnap’s home is humble, with only a few low-maintenance plants dotting the area near the front entrance and small decorations in the dirt beside them. Perhaps it is because he is a fire deity that could burn anything at any instant. Perhaps it is because he doesn’t need to decorate. 

The door opens to Sapnap’s face, gaunt and tired. He has dark circles under his eyes, which is unusual for a deity who can just will them away. 

“Hello,” he greets kindly, “What are you here for?”

“I wanted to talk for a little bit,” Puffy responds, “Nothing too bad, I assure you.”

“Come inside,” he requests softly, “Sorry. My voice isn’t so great today. I do not know what is going on.”

Puffy has a suspicion of what could be going on, but she doesn’t want to accept it. Sapnap has only recently become a deity, so it would make no sense for this to happen so quickly. 

"How are you?" Puffy asks, then cringes. He obviously isn't doing well, judging from his physical appearance. 

"Mentally, I'm alright. But, physically, well..." He gestures at himself in order to convey what he cannot say. Sapnap gives a grim smile as if to say _what can you do?_

"What about you?" he adds. 

"I'm okay, I think. A little bit unsettled but otherwise okay," she responds. 

"Take a seat," Sapnap invites, "Would you like any water? Any snacks?"

"I'm alright, thank you," she replies. 

He shrugs and lumbers into the wet kitchen in order to get a glass of water. She notices that when he thinks he is far away enough from Puffy, he is limping. Gods do not normally limp like this, not unless... not unless they're fading away. But that was impossible, Sapnap had only become a deity three or four centuries ago and she still sees many thriving temples in his honor. So why would he be fading? It's impossible. 

He walks back, this time making sure not to emphasize his limp whatsoever. He probably knows that Puffy already noticed it, but he is ashamed. It is embarrassing to have those older than you see you slip into weakness, especially this physical weakness. Sapnap plops down on a soft chair across from Puffy with his water. 

"Anything in particular you would like to talk about?" he asks, "Unless it's discus-throwing. Then I would not want to hear about it."

"I fear what I have come with today is a little worse than discus-throwing," Puffy remarks, trying to dance around the subject for as long as she can. She has never been a particularly good dancer anyways, but it is not too odd to keep up a front.

Sapnap widens his eyes. "Worse than discus-throwing? I never thought there would be such a thing." 

Puffy nervously laughs in response. It's not that he is not funny, but more that she has to shatter something on top of his already vulnerable shell. 

"Did you know Dream? In the past?" she asks. 

He shifts in his seat. 

"You know, Puffy, at one time, Dream was like my brother," Sapnap states into the warm air of the house. 

Puffy knew that Dream and Sapnap were close, but not so close as to call themselves family. Family is a high honor here in the clouds and calling each other family took a lot. Like Philza and Techno and Wilbur and their latest deity addition that Puffy can't remember the name of. It had taken them at least half of a century to get used to each other. 

"What was he like back then?" Puffy asks. 

Sapnap smiles. "He was kind and he was silly. Loved to crack jokes a lot, though I guess that was the both of us. He was really mischievous sometimes. Once he found a way to freeze all of my fire in motion simultaneously. I was so weirdly confused that I sought out Karl, and the rest is history, I guess. He helped me get together with Karl too, before... Well, you know."

"He was like that," Puffy replies, "Do you still miss him?"

"Every day. I just think of him and what we had," Sapnap laments bitterly, "I don't know what I wouldn't do to get him back."

She nods. "So you know what he has done, then." 

"I do," Sapnap answers, "And eventually I'll have to pick a side and it will probably be the one against him."

"It hurts," Puffy responds, "I know it does. And I'm really sorry that you have to choose."

"You don't have to apologize," Sapnap consoles, "He chose what he did. Now I'm just doing what needs to be done."

"That doesn't make it feel any better though," Puffy says. 

"No, it doesn't. And it couldn't."

"But you're fading away," Puffy points out, "How are you fading away?"

"I don't know what that means, but I have an idea. Happened earlier today." Sapnap grimaces and closes his eyes for far longer than a blink. 

"He... he did that to you?" Puffy realizes, "So quickly?"

"He wanted to burn the bridges," Sapnap replies, "I don't know if I can blame him."

Puffy doesn't know how she would react. "Get some rest. Your stars may twinkle tonight."

"Without flame?" Sapnap questions. 

"In spite of it," Puffy answers.

He smiles and walks with her to the door, not asking any questions as she leaves to inform Niki of the new situation.

* * *

Niki is digging her hand into her forehead, attempting to work on something that Puffy cannot see. Niki does not look exhausted but Puffy is almost certain that she is, what with working so hard for so long. 

"Are you able to take a break yet?" Puffy asks, "I have updates for you."

"Almost," Niki murmurs as an answer, "I just have a few more things to fill out."

"Okay," Puffy replies. 

The smooth strokes of a small brush fill the page that Niki is working on. Puffy tries not to look too deeply at any of the information, but she likes looking at Niki's penmanship. It is nice and swoops around prettily. 

"I'm done, I think," Niki states, leaning back in her chair, "How was the meeting with Sapnap?"

"It… went," Puffy responds, making sure to choose her words carefully, "Dream killed people at all of his temples earlier today. He is likely to join us."

"All of them?" Niki questions, a shocked expression appearing on her face. 

Puffy nods. "He was fading away as I spoke to him. I know he will recover soon, but he was clearly in pain."

"That's… awful. I don't know what else to say," Niki remarks. 

"You don't need to," Puffy says. 

"Did you say you wanted to show me something else?" Niki asks. 

Puffy smiles. "I did! How is your skill on the _urumi_?"

"I don't really fight with blades that often," Niki confesses, "But I think that I'm alright with the _urumi_ , as long as I have a shield."

"Are you more of an archer?" Puffy asks, "Of course. The goddess of balance likes the weapon that needs the most balance to use it."

"I suppose," Niki answers and smiles softly.

She rises from her desk and even in this form, she is still taller than Puffy. Puffy is reminded of how short she is, how short her lifespan is in comparison to one of the founding gods of the universe. 

"Alright!" Puffy cheers, "I know of a place where we can practice."

The practice is called _kalaripayattu_ , and it is more characteristic of the southern provinces, where Puffy was raised. She first went into a _kalari_ when she was young, only about six or seven years old. 

Puffy leads Niki to a _kalari_ she found abandoned in a more temperate part of the southern provinces. Once inside, they equip no armor, but put on a shield and take a sword. 

"Will you be able to follow?" Puffy asks. 

"I think so," Niki answers, "Just try not to hurt me please. It's been a while."

They take their stances, diagonally across from each other, and make sure to get in an open stance. 

"3, 2, 1, go!" Puffy announces. 

Puffy's _urumi_ whips out and fully unfolds, revealing itself to be about a foot and a half long. Niki raises her shield against the weapon, stepping back each time that Puffy steps forward. Niki eventually counters though, whipping her sword towards Puffy and stepping forward while Puffy whips back and blocks with her shield. 

“You’re good!” Puffy encourages while stepping back into the corner of the _kalari_ , countering with a few quick steps forward that could have been dangerous if she had not timed them right. 

Niki turns around to whip the _urumi_ against Puffy, which Puffy blocks with her shield, but it is a risky move where Niki exposes her back towards Puffy. It shows that Niki trusts her, even in the middle of battle, and it makes Puffy feel slightly emotional. She blinks hard in order to get rid of the tears in her eyes, since fighting with blurry eyes would certainly mean loss. With a strike, Puffy accidentally gets Niki off-balance and Niki falls to the ground, but she rolls on her back and continues whipping her _urumi_ towards Puffy, eventually rolling off her back onto her feet. 

They end up at a stand-still in the middle with their swords combined as they look each other in the eyes. Puffy can feel her heart beating faster than it did during the match, but that’s probably just the agility catching up to her. It feels so unbearably human, despite them not even being close to human. 

“Good match,” Niki congratulates as they separate, “I was shocked that I remembered so much.”

“In hindsight, I probably should not have picked one of the most dangerous blades ever in order to fight,” Puffy replies, laughing. 

“I mean, we’re completely in danger of death,” Niki jokes.

“Fair,” Puffy replies, “You did really well. I’m proud of you.”

Niki blushes, a fair red dusting her cheeks to complement her pink hair. “Thank you. To you as well, of course.” 

Puffy smiles widely and ignores the voice telling her that she is in a war and this happiness will not last for long.

* * *

Philza is one of the original gods of this world. He precedes even Karl and Niki, though he dislikes stating it. He is the protector god, known by his many avatars who preserve and give in order to help everyone who he can. He is kind and caring, a father of three adopted children (two deities and a spiritling) whom he has taken as his own. 

Puffy remembers visiting his temple when she was a mortal and being in awe. Philza is not known for grandeur and has never been the type to go for it. He is eons old and yet he still fiercely believes in the good of everyone. He has seen people decimate others and still knows that they can be good, that there is a chance they are as kind as their fellow humans. That is what Puffy first admired at the temple. 

Puffy has done her best to fulfill her purpose. After all, she has adopted spiritlings and led them to their godhoods, like Foolish. She is the deity of guiding who leads others to their paths. And yet, there is a sense of awe of Philza no matter what she does and can do to be better. 

And so, she knocks on his door three times with all of that in mind. He smiles as he opens the door. 

"I'll be right back," he says, his wings standing proud on his back behind him. He turns around and Puffy can see his wings, colored several different shades of gray and forest green. 

Wilbur waves from the inside of the house towards Puffy. She smiles and waves back. 

Phil comes back to the door. "Sorry, I just had to check something. Come in!"

"It involves Dream," Puffy replies softly, "Is Wilbur okay with hearing about him right now?"

"Not really," Phil confesses, "He's doing far better with daily stuff, already has continued his duties, but I don't know how he will reply to hearing any news about Dream. I don't want to fuck anything up."

"We can talk out here, then," Puffy responds, spotting a table and chair in front of the house, "It's no problem to me. I've had somewhat similar experiences."

"I have as well." Phil sighs. "I feel awful, you know? He hasn't been with me for so long since he's been a spiritling. And with Tommy, I don't know how well he is handling it either."

"You already know what Dream has done, then," Puffy states. 

"Of course," Philza affirms. 

"There is a movement," Puffy says, "A movement to fight him in order to gain peace."

"I remember him as a spiritling," Philza reflects, "Quiet. Kind."

"As do I," Puffy remarks solemnly. 

Philza exhales. "I will fight in this war. As myself, not as any of my avatars. But I am still taking care of Tommy and Wilbur and I cannot involve them."

Puffy nods. "I would not expect you to involve them. I know what it is like."

"If you need help at all," Philza offers, "With getting some people on your side. I will help. I am sure that I can get Techno to help."

"I didn't think he involved himself in our affairs anymore," Puffy remarks. 

Philza smiles, a slight twinkle appearing in his eyes. "He will do some things if I ask."

* * *

“What was your name, back when you were human?” Niki asks the next day after Puffy has briefed Niki on the visit with Philza.

“Hm?” Puffy replies, not hearing what Niki had originally said. 

“Back when you were human,” Niki repeats, “What was your name? You don’t go by it now.”

“Why do you go by your name?” Puffy counters defensively, “Mine wasn’t… it wasn’t important to me. I liked this name better. So I stuck with it.”

“I don’t know,” Niki responds thoughtfully, “I didn’t have another name for myself. This is a shortened form of my name, though. I don’t like my full name. But I liked this, I made it for myself and so I kept it.”

Puffy nods. “Cool.”

She remembers things from Earth in batches. Some of those batches are pleasant, but some are not. Puffy can remember screaming after somebody close to her betrayed her. She can remember the scent of rosewater permeating through the kitchen. Puffy can remember anything she wants to from Earth, but it is odd now to claim it as hers. After centuries of living this way, her short time on Earth is small and insignificant. Even then, most of the new gods have grown up as spiritlings and they don’t remember how it feels to be human anymore, because they don’t need to remember. 

The first gods were originally humans, but as time went on, spiritlings developed and changed into full-fledged deities, so the gods really only ever have new additions that were raised by someone else already in godhood. Puffy has raised spiritlings herself and she knows what it is like to raise someone destined for godhood, unlike her, who got it by pure chance and tragedy. They do not know the simple joys of being human, but they do not know the complex tragedies either. For that, Puffy is grateful. She would not wish any of the tragedies she suffered as a human on any of her children.

And so to be once human and to be inhuman for so long is strange. Because looking at the world as it faces another battering is just too much sometimes. Because remembering your long-ago humanity and how it is not the same as this new, modern humanity who worships you is difficult. Because you are surrounded by people who are like you, but not like you. Because you once had fatal flaws and now you are supposed to have none, but you still have some anyways. And Puffy knows that Niki understands that all.

So, she exhales. 

“Cara,” Puffy finally answers, “My name was Cara.”

“It’s a beautiful name,” Niki compliments, “Cara.”

And when Niki says Puffy’s human name on her tongue, Puffy can hear her heart sing as if to accompany the way everything slips musically off of Niki’s tongue.

* * *

“Thank you, Karl, for letting us use your home today for this meeting,” Niki says.

“Of course!” Karl responds, smiling, “Anything for the good of the world.”

Niki turns to Puffy and smiles. “Will you do me the great honor of taking notes throughout the meeting? I would truly appreciate it.”

And with that smile and the way that Niki worded it, is it even possible to say no? Puffy doesn’t believe so. Maybe she’s weak-willed, but her spine is bending under only the best kind of pressure. 

“Yes,” Puffy answers with her voice high-pitched from disuse, “I’ll do it.”

“I really appreciate it,” Niki states softly, so softly that only Puffy can hear it.

As everybody shuffles into the room, Niki looks towards Puffy with a nervous grin on her face. Puffy returns the grin, albeit slightly less nervously. Finally, all of the deities are in their places where they are meant to be. Puffy would never underestimate Philza’s power, but she did not know that he had recruited this many people. Suddenly, she can feel herself almost collapsing under the weight of the significance of the people here. She knows that Niki has it worse, so much worse right now, considering that she has to run the meeting.

“Welcome,” Niki announces, “To the first meeting of.. we haven’t actually decided the name of what this is yet. That is the first item of the agenda. So, does anybody wish to suggest a name?”

“The Syndicate?” Technoblade suggests.

Niki nods and writes it down on a piece of canvas using an inkbrush. The swirled letters spell out the suggested name, with the ink drying slightly as it is exposed to the air.

“Perhaps we could call ourselves The Protectorate,” Karl counters. 

Niki scrawls that name on the canvas as well. She waits for the ink to dry before handing it and the inkbrush to Puffy so that Puffy can tally the votes.

“All in favor for naming ourselves The Syndicate?” Niki asks.

Technoblade, Awesam, Quackity, and Velvet raise their hands. Puffy tallies the four down onto the canvas. 

“All in favor for naming ourselves The Protectorate?” 

Everybody else except for the deities that voted earlier, Niki, and Puffy raise their hands. Puffy cannot vote until after everybody has voted, but at this point, she isn’t able to swing anything towards a specific choice, as the most votes went to The Protectorate. Puffy puts down a tally for herself next to The Protectorate after she finishes tallying everybody else’s votes.

"The Protectorate wins the naming vote," Niki reads out from the canvas, "The next item on our agenda is our course of action. Dream is gathering a well-trained army and is making war supplies as we speak in order to decimate more of us and more of the humans we are sworn to protect. We have deities, yes, but Dream wants to go to war. And, unfortunately, that involves lives."

"We can send visions," Awesam replies, "That is probably what Dream is doing, if I'm being honest."

"We could spy on him or his associates," Velvet pipes in. 

"We?" Slimecicle replies, "Multiple of us? That is a dangerous predicament if it does not land well."

Velvet shrugs. "It will simply have to land well." 

Puffy adjusts her position in her seat. This is going to be an extremely long meeting, and it might not turn out too well.

* * *

Puffy looks over the notes of the meetings over the past few months. 

Over time, the notes became more detailed as their plans increased. Sheets and sheets of canvas were filled as the meetings went on and on and on. Puffy grabs a random sheet of canvas from the pile.

_Meeting Three_

_Items on the Agenda:_ _  
_ _1\. Soldiers_ _  
_ _2\. Battle planning  
_ _3\. How to deal with Dream if we win_

She turns the piece of canvas, trying to look for any notes that she could use before this first battle started. Her eyes scan over a few lines before sticking to a certain one.

_Technoblade is very sarcastic. Make sure to write down what tone he suggests things in before it is cemented in history forever._

She chuckles a little bit at that note. The Protectorate had changed and evolved so much in just a few months and Puffy was there for it all as it moved. She had discovered so much about everyone, so much about everything.

Over the past few weeks, she had gotten to know some of the soldiers that would fight with them in this battle. They were all kind-hearted and told jokes to each other to ease their fears. Not all of them were heavily religious, but they were all spiritual. It hurt that those were the comrades that would die together. It hurt getting too close to humans who would eventually just crumble away.

But such is being a deity, and such is doing your duty.

* * *

"I'm tired of proxies," Dream declares, his army behind him in their green and gold uniforms with swords and shields in hand. 

Behind The Protectorate, the volunteers breathe raggedly, many with wounds on their faces and bodies from battle. They looked hopefully towards The Protectorate deities to answer Dream. 

"What do you mean?" Philza asks, his voice echoing throughout the valley. His back is devoid of his wings. Puffy realizes with horror that Dream and his faction cut them off during a battle. Even though he lost his wings, he still emanates a power that bends even the strongest of wills.

Dream laughs. "Simple, really. I want to fight one of _you_ . I'll even sweeten the deal and let you choose the style. And, of course, there will be a truce during the duel. _If_ you win, you choose whether the truce goes on."

They all stare at him incredulously. Dream is one of the most talented fighters among the deities and people offering to fight him would mean their death if they could die. Still, it only makes sense for him. Dream had always liked to show off his fighting skills for as long as Puffy could remember. The other protectorate deities are silent, probably pondering the decision of fighting Dream. They take the weight onto their shoulders, but Puffy has already made her choice and she knows it is the one that is best for all of them.

She strides forward by two wide steps and stands tall despite her height. "I am willing to fight. We can fight in whatever style you wish."

As soon as the words leave her mouth, she regrets it. That is Dream standing in front of her, the lord of chaos and bloodshed and war. 

"Mother," he spits like the term is snake venom from his tongue, "I do not know if you are… capable."

"I taught you," Puffy replies, "And you are still my duckling, whether you like it or not."

"I am not your _duckling_ ," he mocks, "He died long ago."

"You might be right," she responds, "The Dream I knew was loving, witty, and kind. The thing I see in front of me today is none of those. But his body is still the same, and I know how his body fights. So I think the match will be equal at least."

 _You are going to have to bring pain to your son_ , her mind repeats over and over again, _And you cannot face him with mercy._

He smiles cruelly. "Kill me, mom. Kill me. I know you want to do it."

She refuses to reply even though her mind is screaming at her to do so. This is the new Dream, the god of malevolent chaos and bloodshed, but she can still see some of her little duckling in there. 

"All that pain that I caused, to you, to Karl, to Sapnap, to Philza, to Wilbur, to Foolish, and to _Niki_ ," Dream shouts, "You can take that _all_ out on me! I know you fucking hate me, mom! I know you're disappointed in me! I know that you _promised_ me that you would always be on my side but you didn't think I'd end up like this: fucked up and out of control!" 

At the mention of Niki, Puffy feels a white-hot sting of rage that dissipates the more that Dream talks and remembers the day on the hill. But in the end, she only is sad. She inhales shakily, feeling tears come to her eyes. Puffy closes her eyes and wills them away. 

_You only called me momma when you were younger. Never “mom.”_

"I wish that you had come to visit every once in a while," Puffy responds quietly, "I missed you. I still do."

Dream's eyes are glossy now too, a sign to Puffy that there is still a bit of her duckling left. There is a bit of a red tint to them, a red tint to his whole face that shows that he is upset. Maybe that he is fighting.

"Places down the battlefield," he states with his teeth clenched, "We are fighting using the allkill blade to the ground position." 

Puffy turns around to look at Dream as she walks towards her starting area. He is not looking back at her, instead choosing to be completely immersed in the blade that he will be fighting with, the blade that will become doused in her blood if she is not careful. Her duckling is gone. Her duckling is gone and she needs to accept it.

She takes her weapon out of her sheath. This was a style of the colder provinces rather than the warmer ones, where Puffy had learned her art. Still, she can fight with the allkill blade and probably even could win against Dream even if it's not her native style. She remembers training him in this style, too, and he was stronger in it initially than she first was. 

"Karl," Dream calls, "Give a ten-second timer."

Karl looks disgruntled from having Dream order him of all people, but he took the order anyway because Puffy is fighting and she is fighting for them.

"Ten," he yells, "Nine..."

Is she making a mistake? There is no way she could make it out of this battle without anything happening. Dream is too clever for that. He feeds on her anger like it is the most exquisite dish and she has to restrain herself from making him satisfied. 

"Four, three," Karl counts, "Two, one, start."

Well, they're going now. Dream walks forward confidently (either a blunder or terrifying - Puffy can't tell) and slashes towards Puffy. Puffy blocks with her sword and thrusts in towards Dream, feigning for the stomach. Her sword is more ideal for slicing, though, so the hit to the stomach wouldn't even affect Dream much and he knew it. He lunges towards her leg and her training kicks in. She jumps over the sword while aiming for a place higher on his chest. Puffy ends up drawing first blood, leaving Dream being slightly too dazed to understand what is going on. 

Dream has been stronger than Puffy for a while and is more fluid with this type of fighting, but he is more of the type to just lodge himself into battle. With a duel, it is like a game played with sacrifice as the risk, it is strategy first and foremost and as the goddess of guiding, strategy makes the most sense for her. Dream, the god of chaos, is more suited to brutish hacking and slicing and thrusting and strength - things that play into strategy but that do not make it entirely. He is wise, though, and adapts easily. Puffy only notices her blood on his blade when she goes to parry against a potential thrust to the shoulder. 

Dream knocks her off-balance with a thrust that could only barely be blocked from the distance she was at, but ground position has to be at least five seconds on the ground. Time moves forward in a crawl at that instant, each millisecond being quantifiable and possible and so empty. She gains her leverage by tumbling back up to a stand and slashing him at his pre-gloating stage and bringing Dream back to the fight. 

A series of blocks and parries follow one after the other, the succession of clangs being the only thing echoing across the battlefield they are fighting on. Dream gets in a slight nick on Puffy's cheek during that sequence, hardly enough to be noticed by anybody. Puffy drives her sword against Dream's and notices the subtle unsure slip in his step and she slides her sword in a way that oh-so-gently disarms Dream and, because of the proximity, trips him over to the ground. Puffy moves Dream's allkill blade, which has the weight distributed differently compared to hers, to her non-dominant hand and holds Dream's blade near his neck while her personal allkill is tilted towards the shoulder. 

“Five, four, three, two, one,” Karl calls out, “Finished.”

"Are you satisfied?" she asks. 

“You haven’t killed me yet,” he taunts, “I would if I were you.”

Puffy resolves to ignore him and instead shouts, “Continue the truce. Heal the wounds that can be fixed and prepare the rites for those who cannot.”

“Momma,” Dream whispers hoarsely, “I miss you.”

Puffy feels her heart break into pieces. This is what she has wanted to hear for the past several years when Dream was out of the house and never visited her, when Dream never sent letters, when she didn’t want anybody to call her a mother again because she thought that she had failed Dream. But she hasn’t failed him. She never failed him. And he has changed from when she raised him, so he knows this is what she wants to hear and she knows that it’s too good to be true. It doesn’t stop a tear escaping from her eye and running down her cheek.

“I hope one day that we’re both ready for your visit,” she states quietly.

It is the last thing she will say to him for a while, she thinks. She walks away from him, each step creating a slight gap in the grassy field, and doesn’t look back until she is too far away to see him.

* * *

The grass under her feet feels dewy and cold after the night has deprived it of sun. She steps carefully, making sure that there is nothing sharp or poisonous under her stride. 

It is beautiful out here where the chanting of the cities does not reach. The sun rises behind her and spreads colors throughout the sky. It is still chilly though, despite the beautiful array of shades of oranges and pinks and purples on display in front of her, and she shivers a little bit as she ascends. She is on a hill, where she is on a pilgrimage to somewhere. She knows of this place only through whispers and snippets, where life is whistled on the wind and the sun shines kindly to all who see it. It precedes her and her godhood but perhaps somebody would be there to listen.

As she arises on the hill, she sees a small stone shrine at the top. The stone is carved with flowers and fire and small little dots and decorations, she realizes as she becomes closer to the shrine. She goes closer, walking and walking until she finally reaches that little shrine, the little break from the hill.

She hums, a deep sound coming from her chest, a calming sound that soothes her as she continues. Puffy looks at the wood figurine inside of the shrine. 

It’s small and could fit in the palm of her hand if she decides to hold it. But most importantly, it is two sided, the obverse with the sun carved into it and the reverse with the moon carved into it. It’s one of the old symbols, she thinks, one of the old symbols for Niki.

“You could have just sent a letter, you know,” Niki teases, interrupting Puffy’s inspection of the figurine, “I didn’t think anybody would make it up here for some time.”

“I didn’t know it was yours,” Puffy explains, “I saw the hill and I thought it looked nice. I didn’t even see the shrine until a few minutes ago.”

“Well, I’m glad it was you who found it,” Niki replies earnestly, “It’s been a while since somebody has been here.” 

They sit in silence for a few moments, still facing each other. The colors of the sky that Puffy had seen earlier now all faded into the blue of the morning. If she was near a city, the chants would be stopping at about this point. But she is not near a city. She is alone with Niki. 

Niki’s face shines in the morning light, almost as if she is the sun itself. She looks nice, Puffy notes. Niki is smiling slightly and they are in the silence together for the sake of silence. They are in the silence together because they want to be. Puffy does not want to say anything to break the illusion they have, the illusion that everything is good and nobody will come to bother them here. Everybody, technically, can see every place. They just choose not to go to some places because they don’t want to. 

“Did you have a reason for coming up here?” Niki asks, still fitting within the illusion.

“No,” Puffy replies, “It was just quiet.”

“Sorry,” Niki responds, “I think I ruined that for you.”

Puffy takes a second to consider Niki and the effect she has on Puffy. And Niki makes Puffy happy, so it really makes no sense to run from her. Together, they are… good. Something that is good. Puffy doesn’t know what.

“You never did,” Puffy states, “And I don’t think you ever will.”

Niki smiles wider now. “Thank you.” 

“I was looking for peace,” Puffy adds, “Somewhere peaceful. I thought that it would be quiet because the war was just so loud.”

“I know what you mean,” Niki responds. 

The clang of metal against metal. The whinnies of horses. Thousands of pairs of feet marching against the blood-covered ground. The screams, all of the screams.

Puffy tries to block all of it out, tries to not think of it. She’s immortal, though, and cursed with a memory that never really forgets. A memory that hears everything and that still knows, even when things are long-gone. 

“I’m glad it was you,” Puffy quotes from just moments ago, “That it is you.”

The silence continues, only remaining on the surface. It doesn’t creep into their hearts, doesn’t start to make up other noises that aren’t happening. Puffy walks towards a corner of the shrine and Niki follows her, each step echoing against the comfortable silence. They sit down together and watch the hill below them.

“Do you know what love is?” Niki asks quietly. 

“I think I do,” Puffy answers. 

_The feeling of the sun against your cheek as you laugh with somebody you care about. The way that you can just spend time together and it is just time that passes and time that you treasure. The pride you feel when you see someone truly succeed_ , she doesn’t add.

There are many words left unsaid between them, and some words that are maybe better left unsaid. But some of them need to be said and Puffy wants to say them with her in this time that they have now, she wants their silence to encompass their voices. 

“I don’t know how to say this,” Niki remarks awkwardly

“You don’t have to,” Puffy reminds gently, “I think I already know.”

Niki shakes her head. “No. I need to. I’ll just do it, I guess.”

“I love you,” Niki continues, “I love you so deeply that it aches, I love you and I don’t know how long it’s been, I love you and I hope that you love me too.”

“I do,” Puffy replies, “I love you, too.” 

They look each other in the eyes, gently. Niki’s hazel eyes show a hazy reflection of Puffy’s face and they are relaxed and happy even though Niki does not let her lips betray her true emotions. Puffy hopes that her face shows her sincerity. She hopes that her face shows the leaps and bounds her heart is taking right now, she hopes that it doesn’t ever end.

“What do things in love usually do?” Niki asks, finally smiling at Puffy.

"I don't think we're in a usual situation," Puffy answers, "I guess we'll just see as we go along."

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this fic, i would really appreciate it if you left a kudos and/or a comment down below! they encourage me to keep writing, especially on long fics like this.
> 
> cultural notes:   
> the deities in this fic were inspired by greco-roman mythology, norse mythology, and tales from my own religion, hinduism. i also put some original thought into them as well! 
> 
> i also made up some words for this fic. voliet essentially means "of a vowel quality," so a voliet chant would be a chant of vowels. i didn't get too much into the chanting system during the fic but essentially, during sunrise, worshippers chant the vowel sounds of deities' names. during sunset, worshippers chant the consonant sounds of deities' names. just a little lore thing i wanted to throw in there!
> 
> the southern provinces are inspired by the "global south" as a whole, especially south asia. the northern provinces are inspired by the northern u.s./canada/northern europe. i didn't really get into geography in this fic, but that's something that you should know! 
> 
> kalaripayattu is a south asian martial art, specifically from kerala in southern india. it is the oldest surviving martial art in india. a kalari is where kalaripayattu is practiced. the urumi is a long, flexible sword that's noted to be extremely dangerous. it is used in kalaripayattu to fight with, but it takes a lot of training to get to fight with it.
> 
> the allkill blade is just a mythical adaptation of transitional/multipurpose swords. according to kingdompen.org, there are three different styles of blades used in european-style sword-fighting: the "hack and slash," the "thrust and slice," and the "transitional/multipurpose sword."


End file.
